Ready for the girlfriend to visit.
There is currently a food truck outside of our building selling tacos, 2 for $7. I don’t know about you, but the best taco I’ve ever had IN MY LIFE wasn’t worth $3.50.
Not to mention that’s like $3 in profit on each one. Hell, I can make my own tacos for like $.35 apiece.
I’m in the wrong business.
Apparently, some people think that paid time to socialize and bond with your coworkers, sans booze, is some kind of reward for a job well done.
Could I just have the money instead?
Me: C’mon, man, you’re two screws from victory.
Coworker: That is my favorite out of context quote, ever.
But 10 years ago, she was in high school.
10 years ago, I was in my 30s.
My LATE 30s…
Self, I said, aren’t you glad we don’t live in a ground floor apartment in Texas with giant -
PAINTED WHORES OF BABYLON! WHAT IS THAT THING?
8 sticky traps for 12 weeks, I finally caught something bigger than a potato bug.
I just ordered a video game from Amazon, with “Free 2 day shipping, guaranteed delivery on Sunday, August 24th”.
Now taking bets as to how many packages show up at my door on Sunday…
Enterprise E cutaway poster by Star Trek illustrator Christopher James Cushman
I own this poster and I love it. You might be able to find on on ebay if you’re luckya return to a sci-fi tradition!
I am a man, and I live in Texas. Rare is the occasion that I need full-length flannel pajama bottoms.
Therefore, I give you: pajama shorts!