Keep the Rubber Side Down

Ready for the girlfriend to visit.

What a racket

There is currently a food truck outside of our building selling tacos, 2 for $7. I don’t know about you, but the best taco I’ve ever had IN MY LIFE wasn’t worth $3.50.

Not to mention that’s like $3 in profit on each one. Hell, I can make my own tacos for like $.35 apiece.

I’m in the wrong business.

Apparently, some people think that paid time to socialize and bond with your coworkers, sans booze, is some kind of reward for a job well done.

Could I just have the money instead?

Muttering to myself while answering emails…

Me: C’mon, man, you’re two screws from victory.

Coworker: That is my favorite out of context quote, ever.

I stand corrected. Amazon DID deliver on Sunday, as promised. 

Huh.

I stand corrected. Amazon DID deliver on Sunday, as promised.

Huh.

I’m not saying my girlfriend is young-

But 10 years ago, she was in high school.

10 years ago, I was in my 30s.

My LATE 30s…

I was just saying to myself-

Self, I said, aren’t you glad we don’t live in a ground floor apartment in Texas with giant -

PAINTED WHORES OF BABYLON! WHAT IS THAT THING?

8 sticky traps for 12 weeks, I finally caught something bigger than a potato bug.

You got a bridge I can buy?

I just ordered a video game from Amazon, with “Free 2 day shipping, guaranteed delivery on Sunday, August 24th”.

Now taking bets as to how many packages show up at my door on Sunday…

Best invention ever!

Best.

Best.

fuckyeahsciencefiction:

startrekships:

Enterprise E cutaway poster by Star Trek illustrator Christopher James Cushman

I own this poster and I love it.  You might be able to find on on ebay if you’re lucky

a return to a sci-fi tradition!
Sunday sewing with Bob.

I am a man, and I live in Texas. Rare is the occasion that I need full-length flannel pajama bottoms.

Therefore, I give you: pajama shorts!

Pa-jorts?

womaninterrupted:

advice-animal:

Fat Avocadohttp://advice-animal.tumblr.com/

It’s the pits.